Thursday, January 14, 2010

On a Good Day

One of the problems of using your blog as therapy is that you tend to not write much when things are going well. I guess days that go wrong are far more interesting. (Or maybe they are not- but at least I get to stay under the delusion that they are....) ;) Do you really want to hear me gush about how fun it is to kiss baby Addy's cheeks or how Jackson is the funniest kid that ever walked the planet? Well, regardless of what you think, most days I would rather kiss Addy's cheeks or listen to Jackson being his funny self than write about it on my blog. When it comes down to it, when I'm having a good day I'm too busy enjoying it to write much on my blog. I suppose that's probably a good thing.

About a year ago I had an anonymous person comment on my blog, "Why are you so negative all of the time? Can't you just look for the positive in life?" I admit that it really shook me up at first-- nobody likes to be viewed as a wet blanket. I try to "keep it real" on my blog --with both challenges and good times-- instead of making my life look pretty and perfect all of the time. But I never have intended to sound --or be-- negative or ungrateful.

But there is part of me that is uncomfortable with saying, "Life is wonderful! Things are going great!"-- even if it is and they are. Maybe I'm afraid of jinxing myself or tempting fate. Or maybe I think that it will sound fake. Or I don't want to come off sounding like I'm bragging "Look at me! Neener neener!" It doesn't help that in my family we have a tendency to understate things. It's kind of a joke in our family that if Dave gets a new shirt, Dave's mom will say "You look fantastic!! Just amazing!!" and I will say, "You look pretty good," and we mean just about the same thing. My family also has a fanatical avoidance of any behavior that could be viewed as mushy or sappy. If we haven't seen each other for a year and we are thrilled to be together again, rather than running to each other's arms crying, we'll wave across the room and give a calm, "Hey, how's it going? Good to see you again!"

But lest all of you readers think that I am perpetually negative or have a life filled solely with toddler shopping disasters, I want to document (at the risk of jinxing myself) that I am having a really great week. No really. A fantastic week! Just amazing!! (See, I can't even type it without feeling like it must sound fake. I really do mean it.) Nothing special has happened. But I just really enjoy doing what I do every day. I really love being a mom, shopping disasters and all. It's a tough job at times but I truly love it with my whole heart. I love my kids and my husband and feel so incredibly blessed in so many ways. (What I say next I say will fly in the face of family precedent.) I love my life! Things are going great!!! 

(Waiting for thunder to come crashing down and burst the bubble....)

P.S. After reading this post, you get one guess as to how long Addy slept today... hmmm... you're smart. =]


Kate said...

I once posted something on facebook about my kids spilling syrup and got a response from my 18 year old sister-in-law who just graduated from highschool about how I ALWAYS have such a hard time with my kids. It's made me very self-concious about what I write. I don't want people to judge me or my children unfairly. But, as my SIL has yet to discover, motherhood is full of spilled syrup and Nesquick fights. That doesn't mean it's not the greatest job in the world. Keep posting your stories, good and bad, it gives me strength to know that I'm not alone.

Emily Laing said...

Wow...the lady that told you that, just needs to get a grip. You have a very wonderfully normal outlook on motherhood and you do it well. You rock as a mom, as a wife, as a person! You are so well rounded!

LCM said...

Wow, if anonymous isn't brave enough to sign their name then, I don't think you should give them any credence. How else are you supposed to vent enough to still appreciate your kids?
I don't think you are always negative. I think kids are hard and the more you have the harder it is.