Concert Thoughts

Right now I'm sitting at my computer killing time while I am nursing Addy, so I figured I might as well write a blog post rather than wasting time.

There are only four hours and ten minutes until my Cantico concert tonight...... This isn't consuming my brain or life or anything. =] I'm actually not too nervous about tonight's performance. We've already done two smaller performances and they went really well. But regardless of that, I always get a little bit higher strung right before a performance.

Last night was our dress rehearsal and frankly, it was long and grueling. There were all kinds of logistical details to be taken care of and anything involving that many people just plain takes longer than you think it will. After being on a post-performance high all week, I came home exhausted. So many collective hours of work have gone into this performance...we've been rehearsing since September. And outside of rehearsal time there have been countless hours spent memorizing music, advertising, selling tickets, creating programs, coordinating everything under the sun.

Sometimes (like last night) I have moments where I think, "A person in my situation (with four young kids) has no business directing a group like this." It's easy to be overwhelmed by the sheer number of details that have to be taken care of, let alone the music. But somehow we all team up and make it work somehow. It seems like craziness sometimes, but I love doing it! Sometimes I feel like I need to pinch myself: I'm living one of my musical dreams- to have my own choir. It really is a fantastic group and I feel lucky to be a part of it, let alone one of the directors. It makes me grateful to live in the internet age, where I can do a lot of organization from my laptop while I nurse Addy (like I am right now). 

It's easy to get overwhelmed with all of the logistics of a concert like this (and believe me, I have). But the reason I do it is because I LOVE the music that we sing. It makes me so happy to have that music as a part of my life. But being able to sing and direct that music with an amazing group of musicians -- and to be able to share that music in a concert with a full house of people is just almost too great to believe.

Well, Addy's done nursing. Time's up. I need to go curl my hair and finish some other last-minute details. I'll come out on stage tonight looking calm and professional and nobody need know that the director who looks so confident and together onstage has a secret alter-ego as a housewife whose dishes pile in the sink and kitchen floor has several days-worth of crumb accumulation from all of her concert preparation. (Can we say "Saturday cleaning marathon, coming up"?)

Here's to music!