Funny Things the Kids Say

Here are some funny things that the kids have been saying recently:

Jackson:

• "I'm wary firsty." (He's never just thirsty. Always very thirsty.)
• "Cubumber" (for cucumber)
• "My birthday is in bohbember."
• "It's too louder!"
• "I! don't! want! dat! eeder!!!!" (I don't want that either!-- even if what you were suggesting wasn't an alternative at all....)
• "Is it tomorrow yet?"
• "Is it still today?"
• J: What time is it? Me: 3:30 J: Why?
• "When will we go to Disneyland?"
• J: What day is it? Me: Monday J: Why?
• (when saying a prayer) "Thank you for this days."
• "Am I a big kid?"

Addy:

• "Nammies" (jammies)
• "Skake" (fruit stick)
• "Snock" (snack, usually meaning fruit snacks)
• "Nominoes" (dominoes)
• "Tock-tock" (Tic-Tac)
• "Bunnies" (bunny crackers)
• "Oh no!"
• "Color!" (meaning to draw)
• "Where's Addy?"
• "no, no, no, No, NO, NOOOOO!"
• "nigh-nigh" (Night-night, meaning either nap, bed or blanket)
• "No want go nigh-nigh!" (I don't want to nigh-night)
• "Where's Jared Camryn?"

Productivity (Addy and Jackson Style)

One of the toughest things for me as a mom is to let go of "getting things done" and my obsession with productivity and just play with the kids or watch them play. A couple of weeks ago, I was trying to "get something done" and Jackson kept bugging me to go outside. As much as I wanted to finish, it was a beautiful, sunny day in Portland (in March) so I gave in and took him and Addy outside. It was such a great afternoon. There is nothing like the happiness a three-year-old can find in his scooter or the accomplishment an 18-month-old feels by putting along with her feet Fred-Flinstone style on her trike.

Fun With Dental Floss

Jackson found a package of dental floss today and went to work. Who knew that dental floss could be so fun, even if you aren't an obsessive fan of oral hygiene?

How can this much string fit in such a tiny package?

"Wait a minute, I'm stuck!"

"It's minty!!"

All of this fun for only a couple dollars worth of floss....

Twinners

So I think Addy may have a long-lost twin.



At least it's clear that she and Justin Bieber have the same hairdresser...

What do you think?

Baby Addy-Cakes

"Baby" Adelyn will turn 18 months old next week. Addy, also known as "Addy-Cakes," is a full-blown toddler now-- even though she still gets treated as the baby of the family. She likes to think that she is one of the "big kids." She keeps herself busy tagging along after the older kids and exploring our house and everything in it. Emptying cupboards and drawers, opening DVD cases, unzipping my purse and exploring its contents, pulling hairbands out of her hair, pushing computer keys, opening file cabinets and dumping their contents, pushing remote control buttons, smooshing bananas in her hair and drinking milk are among her favorite activities.


Other favorite pastimes include dropping food or other objects down her sleeper,

giving hugs or riding around on mommy's hip,

calling random people on mom's cell phone--or turning any object with buttons into a "phone," 

eating oranges (she takes bites out of the peel but she eventually spits those out) and...

giving huge smiles.

She's a busy girl!

Uno: Jackson Style

A few weeks ago we discovered a new card game: "Uno: Jackson Style." We used to always play a house-rules take on Uno that we called "Super Uno" or "Match." In this version you can can throw down an exact match of the card facing up at any time- even out of turn. It makes for a fun twist just when you least expect it.

In an attempt to have a game night involving all of the kids, we developed a new version that you might dub "Super-Jackson-Uno." You play Uno with the normal rules, except that Jackson can lay any card at any time and it counts. So you have a fun twist just when you least expect it. And it kind worked.

Meanwhile Addy discovered that she loves popcorn.

Sunday game night with popcorn for dinner was a de facto tradition in my house growing up. We used to tease my mom because if we ever asked what we she felt like for dinner, the answer would be "popcorn." I guess we know where Addy inherited it from. ;)

Unbreakable?

Corelle and I have always had a stormy relationship. Apparently, we still don't get along that well.

From the Corelle website: "We use a unique material called Vitrelle^® , which gives our plates and bowls that legendary Corelle durability. It also gives them a number of other benefits that other brands can't offer." Like instant shattering when encountered by a one-year-old.

"Tempered Glass for Break Resistance," huh? Resist this:

Some Days

• You cook a nice main dish but run out of energy before you can make a vegetable. 
• Jackson screeches, "I want milk. I want milk! I want milk!!!" like a broken record during the first half of dinner, despite your calm assurances that you will get him his milk cup as soon as he starts eating his other food. (No an all-milk diet is not a great option, Jackson.)
• Your keys that have the mail key on them are still missing after two days. Gosh, could it be from one of the umpteen times my purse has been dumped?
• Just as you're cleaning up from dinner Addy starts projectile barfing all over the couch.
• You get Addy bathed, cleaned up and in fresh pajamas only to have her barf again, this time all over the carpet, the floor and her pajamas. (How did she have anything left? The first barf was pretty big by itself...)
• You lose it and yell "NOOOO!!!" out loud at the sight of the second barf.
• Your nine-year-old takes pity on you and asks, "Do you need some help, mom?" (Yes. Some serious mental help.)
• Your nine-year-old helps clean up the barf on the floor and then makes a sign that says: "Caution! Wet floor! Thank you! Not: Barf. Is: Cleaned/Wiped up barf"

Awakenings

When your baby gets to be a year old it's a little bit like awakening from a coma. I guess there are a lot of small milestones after you have a baby: surviving the first day home from the hospital, getting through the first week after your help leaves, making it past the 6-week mark, hitting three months old, starting solid foods, when they start sleeping through the night and so forth. And with each milestone you start to remember things like, "Wait! Life wasn't always the way it has been the past few weeks. I remember what it is like to be able to go more than 2 hours at a time without changing a diaper!" or "I remember what it feels like to have a five-hour stretch of uninterrupted sleep!"

Addy will turn one year old in a few weeks and I'm starting to emerge from that first-year coma-like existence. I've started exercising again. I'm rediscovering personal grooming (well, sort of). I've actually thought about how I look and made a couple of attempts at... (gulp) accessorizing and creating an outfit instead of just throwing on the first pair of jeans and a shirt I can find that doesn't have any obvious barf stains or snot streaks. I noticed that my plants have died (a baby first year rite of passage for me), am grieving for my dehydrated sage and rosemary, and am wondering if I have it in me to give another shot at my herbs without killing them. I've started on the process of slowly weaning Adelyn and feel both frustrated and glad that she still prefers me to a bottle. (It's hard not to love her funny fake-cry/cackle when she realizes that you are going to actually give in and nurse her and the sweet greedy way she chug-chug-chugs when she gets to drink.)

I was out in the front yard weeding a couple Saturdays ago and I realized that almost a year has gone by since she was born. So much of that first year you spend submerged in the day-to-day struggle of just keeping people alive and fed (hopefully you and the baby both). So many other things drop into auto-pilot or fall off the map altogether. You think about all the nights of little sleep, the endless diaper changes and nursing and trying to balance that with the other kids and their needs and there is a feeling of, "Wow! We made it! We actually survived!"

People often describe childbirth as "descending into the valley of the shadow of death." I think that description might just as aptly be applied to the entire first year. Not to say that the first year is terrible or horrendous, because it isn't. It is full of sweet and beautiful moments and experiences that more than make up for the difficult times. But- for me at least- that first year still feels very much like a struggle for survival. As a woman, you put yourself in a place where you are very vulnerable: so much of your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual energy is wrapped up in keeping this little spirit alive and laying the foundation for helping her grow into a healthy, happy adult. Trying to balance this with meeting your own needs and the needs of your husband and other children often feels like an impossible juggling act. It's like taking a deep breath, going under water and praying you have enough breath to carry you through to the other side.

So it's worth celebrating when you come up on the other side and realize that you made it. Not to say that there aren't longer or harder journeys ahead. (I've heard parenting doesn't get easier as your kids grow.) But making it through part intact still counts for something.

A Slight Oversight

I was scanning my blog and I realized that my "family picture" is short one child. But Adelyn hasn't been around that long-- oh wait, never mind. She's almost a year old. Oops. New goal: Add a family picture that includes Addy to my blog before she turns a year old.

First Day of School

Can you believe it? I am actually posting about something on the day it happened! Hold your applause, please. Okay fine, applaud away. It may not happen again any time soon.

Today was Jared and Camryn's first day of school. Jared is starting 4th grade and Camryn is entering 2nd grade.

After a whole summer of no alarm clocks, it's back to the 6:45 wake-up. I am not a morning person, so this is a bit tortuous for me. Jared and Camryn, however, woke up to their alarms, got dressed and were eating their breakfast when I came down to help them with their lunches.

Then it was out the door to catch the bus.

It's hard to believe that they are growing up so fast. I'm always a bit nervous for the first day of school. Will they have good teachers? Will they make good friends and get along with the other kids? It always worries me as a control freak to have my kids out of my immediate control for such a big chunk of their lives. And I have mixed emotions about school. Part of me is so sad to have the kids gone for such a big part of the day again. But there is just as big (if not bigger) part of me that is jumping for joy at the prospect of having more quiet, fewer mess-makers and less sibling arguing for part of the day as well.

This year is a landmark for me too, since fourth grade was the last year that I attended school (until college). I was home-schooled from fourth grade through high school. People who find out that I was home-schooled usually ask me why I don't home-school my own children. It's because I don't want them to grow up to be social outcasts like me. ;) Just kidding. In all seriousness, I really loved being home-schooled and had a great experience. I always planned on home-schooling my kids, right up until Jared was 4 and 3/4 years old. Home-schooling didn't seem like a good option for us at the time, so we decided to give public school a try. We've been very lucky that it has worked well for us so far. The kids have had good teachers, made good friends and made good academic progress. But it took me a long time to get over feeling guilty that I wasn't doing enough for my kids' education or measuring up to what my mother did for me. The conclusion that I finally came to is that parents are the ones who are ultimately responsible for their child's education. They may choose to "farm out" some of the job to schools, tutors, teachers, coaches or others, but the parent is the one who needs to make sure that the child is getting what he or she needs. And I do teach them at home. But I don't think it's a bad thing for them to learn from other people as well. And hopefully if public school ever ends up not working well for them, I will be in tune enough to see this and find another alternative that does work. End of long tangent.

Meanwhile, Jackson and Addy are settling in to having the house to themselves for a while. I think Jackson is adjusting better to having "Jare-Camryn" gone than last year. Having Addy to hang out with certainly helps. Today they spent the morning dumping half a box of wipes.

I guess it's nice to have a sidekick. Especially one who looks up to you who wants to learn all of your tricks.

One of these days I'm going to have to try chucking some diapers across the room to see if it's as much fun as it looks.

Pictures for "Perspective" or The Big Spill

The big spill.... OK, fine. It's not such a big deal compared to that spill. But this came on the same day that Jared was doing an "experiment" in the kitchen sink involving yeast. He had Camryn put the yeast away for him and she didn't close the ziploc bag all the way, so all of the contents of the lower half of our freezer had a lovely coating of yeast sprinkles. They had a lovely argument over who was responsible for the mess, Jared for getting out the yeast or Camryn for putting it away wrong.

Here is our most-of-a-gallon milk mess.

This was a full unopened gallon of milk....

One bright spot. I sent Camryn to her bed since she was only hindering the clean up and she apparently took me bursting into laughter upon the milk carton breaking to mean that this wasn't such a big deal. After drenching two bath towels, I went to rinse them out in the bathtub. When I came back, Jared was doing his best to clean up the remaining mess with a dish towel. He gave me a hug and said, "It's not fair that you always have to clean up the messes while we play, mom."

As I write this, the kids are all finally asleep. Last of all, Addy in a sweaty but happy post-nursing nap on my lap.

The Finale to "Some Days" or "How Not to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying"

So the day after my last whiny pathetic post I made yet another stab at getting Adelyn's picture taken, this time with success. I also learned a valuable lesson on how to successfully drive a business into the ground. Next time I have the urge to buy a quickie-kids-photo-where-they-run-the-camera-like-a-cash-register franchise, I'll remember it.

I returned to Kiddie Kandids on Friday, but this time I made an appointment. Despite all attempts at promptness, I hit traffic, construction and Jackson's willpower and ended up being late. I tried 3 or 4 times to call the studio to let them know I would be a few minutes behind, but got a busy signal every single time. I apologized when I got there and the photographer (that seems generous, I think "camera operator" is probably more appropriate term) said that "she was on the phone with her superior." Does "superior" translate into "boyfriend" in any English-related dialects? No matter. She was still finishing up someone else's photos when I arrived, so I didn't feel so very bad for being late.

We got down to pictures and, all in all, they went pretty well. Except that Jackson thought it looked like great fun, so he climbed down from the shopping cart and attempted to get in the picture with Addy. And distracted her so she looked at him instead of the camera. And generally interrupted the process however possible.

When I made the appointment, they informed me that the studio was under new ownership and a few things had changed. For one thing, they didn't print out your photos immediately any more: you had to wait two weeks and come back. That was definitely sad news, but hey, it still beat having to park at the mall, find the elevator at JCPenney's and wait 45 minutes when you had an appointment, right? I still got to pick out the photos on the spot. The difficulty was that there was someone with an appointment for pictures immediately after me and the other girl who was supposed to be working that morning hadn't shown up yet. So the camera operator asked if I could come back in 15 minutes to pick out the photos. Addy was getting fussy and wanted to nurse, so that actually worked out rather well. I went and nursed Addy in the mother's room (at least one plus for being in a Babies'R'Us store) and then went back. And waited. And waited. And waited. It was at least 30 minutes after I got back from nursing Addy that I waited just to get a chance to look through my pictures to pick which ones I wanted. You can imagine how patient and obedient Jackson was by the time we had puttered around a store for 45 minutes.

Finally, camera operator #2 showed up and she was able to help me look at my pictures. With only a quick "Sorry, I was detained," for my 45 minutes of confinement in a store with a two-year-old and a baby, we went on to the pleasant process of selecting pictures with a whiny two-year-old who refused to stay near me. "Just wait a moment please, while I put together some collages for you. Typically we do this during the 15 minutes while you are waiting," she added. I internally retorted, "I don't need to pay extra for fancy writing and a cheesy border. Just show me my pictures already. Finally we got to it.

"Let me show you our Premiere package," she began. "Actually," I interrupted her, "I just want four 8x10s please." She stared in disbelief, like I had just turned down a chance to purchase a Picasso for pennies and then proceeded with her spiel, adding only, "Well, just in case, let me show you our packages anyway." Translation: I am forced to try to sell this to you. It is my job. I don't care that you have a fussy baby and a whiny two-year-old, of whose whereabouts you are now uncertain. So I sat while she patiently explained that while the Premiere package was $999.99, it was on sale for only $459.99 and with the special discounts running right now it was a bargain at $429.99. She finally got to the last package and emphasized that this was the last package that included the CD with the digital images and rights to the photos. If you opted out of the wall portrait, it was only $199.99! I earned myself another shocked stare when I turned this opportunity down without a second thought. "But what if you want them someday?" she protested. Hmmm... maybe I'll take that money and use it on a real photographer?

I finally got to the photos themselves. I asked if there was any way to compare two photos side by side. There wasn't. So back and forth we went. I tried to go as quickly as I could in between breaks to race off and drag Jackson back from whatever part of the store he had wandered off to or lure him back with a toy. As I sorted past photos I didn't like, she would interject, "I really like that one. It's so cute." Or she would randomly butt in and say, "I think you should get this one with the fluorescent green border. It really brightens it up!" Well I don't, OK?

I tried to keep Jackson in the near vicinity by grabbing some toys or the floor model of a tricycle for him to play with and the camera operator had the gall to scold him at one point, "You need to be careful! This isn't a playground!" Well, he wouldn't be at the end of his rope already if we hadn't been waiting for 45 minutes (through the middle of his lunchtime) for you to show up for work! By the time we finished we had been there for two and half hours. With no lunch.

I finally got my four 8x10s, as predicted, along with a sheet of 5x7s and a free collage. That is, I got them ordered. I still have to go back and pick them up. So, how is that for being more convenient than JCPenney? I had to make an appointment, I had to wait around forever, I have to come back and pick the pictures up later. Well, at least I didn't have to go up an elevator....

More on "Some Days"

So my day wasn't really over yet with that last post, I was just tired of writing in present-tense. (It gets annoying really fast.)

After re-realizing yet again why it is that I don't usually attempt arduous tasks like folding laundry, I piled Addy and Jackson into the car to run errands. When Camryn came down this morning she said, "Mom, I need $16.69 or I don't get a class party." It turns out what she really meant was that she couldn't find her library book and unless she returned it or brought replacement money they wouldn't get a class party. I asked if she'd looked for it and she said, "Yes. I've looked everywhere." So I told her to eat her breakfast and I raced around the house, looking behind Camryn's bed and in the toy bins, but to no avail. Two minutes after Camryn had left for the bus, I saw her lunch sitting on the counter and I looked in a pile of papers on the paper-stacker where we put homework. Book found. Lovely. So basically that was a really long way of explaining why my first errand was to the school.

At this point Jackson was hungry, so I drove through Taco Bell and got him a cheese roll-up to eat while I sat in the parking lot preparing a bank deposit. When I checked to see how much he'd eaten, I saw a small stump of cheese roll-up by his feet and the rest was gone. Upon further examination I found that he had fed most of his cheese roll-up to Addy, who looked like she had enjoyed it immensely. After I drove through the bank, I pulled into a parking space to take a break to nurse Addy, who was starting to fuss. She had a stinky diaper... which had leaked onto her clothes. Which wouldn't be a problem except that I had 6 Jackson-sized diapers in the diaper bag and not a single one for Addy. After some creative folding, I got her changed and nursed her in the scenic parking lot.

Meanwhile, Jackson started to get fussy. He seemed hungry-- maybe that was because he fed his lunch to his 8-month-old sister. Baby back in seat, drive back to house, dump dirty clothes and diaper, get correct-sized diapers for Addy and milk cup for Jackson and off again.

In our family we wait to take baby pictures until the baby can sit up by herself. But Addy has been able to sit for a while now and is now 8 months old --and I still haven't gotten a studio picture of her taken. Even though it's been at the top of my list for over a week it still hasn't happened, so today, I determined, would be the day. We drove off to Babies'R'Us because they have a KiddieKandids that doesn't require an appointment. (I used to go to JCPenney but after enough experiences of waiting for an hour after my appointment before we got our pictures taken I just gave up.)

I got to Babies'R'Us and dinked around for a few minutes to see if they had an outfit there that was cuter than the one I brought. Jackson was still hungry (shocker, after how much of his lunch he fed to Addy) and was starting to whine for snacks, so I went to the back of the store and got a bag of baby cookies so he had something to snack on. Hopefully this would bribe Jackson to stay in the cart long enough to get Adelyn's picture taken.

I finally got up to the Kiddie Kandids desk and asked when their next appointment was. The lady cheerfully replied, "We have one at 3:00 pm." It was 1:42.... When I asked if there was anything earlier, she said, "I'm taking this customer at 1:45 and then we close for lunch from 2-3." Really... that's intuitive. I'm sure glad that wasn't posted on their website when I checked. The reasonable part of me realized that this was my fault. I should have called and made an appointment. I should have gotten an "appointment" as soon as I walked in the store. Honestly, I had been there before and never required an appointment or had them close from 2-3. But the unreasonable part of my was spitting mad. Did they realize that I drove 20 minutes through construction with a two-year-old and a baby just to come get her picture taken, not to mention wrestling Jackson through the store, trying to keep him in the cart? And I had to be home by 2:30 for the older kids to get home from school?

I wandered through the store, ready to punch somebody or at least put a two-year-old up for sale. At this point Jackson was trying to climb out of the cart seat and into the basket. He was putting a cookie in his mouth just long enough to get slobber on it and then spitting it out into the cart, where it was landing on the cute dress that I brought for Addy to wear in her picture. I don't believe in corporal punishment, but I had an overwhelming urge to smack that kid until he sat down in that cart and did what I said, but self-control prevailed at least in part and I contented my self with growling threats through clenched teeth. I got the handful of other things I needed and went to check out. By this time both children were upset and fussy. I imagine I didn't look very friendly. The checker asked, "Rough day?" Yeah. You could say that.

I wish I could say it got better. I got home and Camryn was a pill. We did her piano lesson and she had checked the box on her assignment sheet twice for a worksheet that she never did at all. During Jared's lesson we had weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth because I had the gall to ask him to play the right hand alone, "forte" like it was marked. And I asked him to practice slow!!!!!!! (Sob! The indignity of it all! The tragic, tragic horrible-ness....) "Mom," he explained in a cross between a growl and a sob, "how am I supposed to play it fast when I've practiced it slow?" "Jared," I responded in what was just plain a growl, "which one of us studied piano for 20 years (including studying just piano in college) and has taken lessons with famous teachers who are experts in the field just so she could know the best way to practice? I don't think it was you. So why are you trying to tell me the best way to do it?" (It turns out he was just expecting to pass off his piece right away and once he passed off one of his pieces on the first try he was happy as a lark.)

Grand illusions of cooking a beautiful, nutritious meal for dinner evolved into a plan to cook the corn on the cob before it went bad to supplement leftover mac and cheese. I sat Jackson up to eat, but he ate a few bites and then started chucking his food to the floor. I took away his high chair tray but then made multiple attempts to get him to eat more, to no avail. After dinner, the kids started building a fort out of chair cushions and Jackson's slide and a few minutes later Camryn erupted into a cacophony of savage screams, "Jared ruined my invention before I even got to try it!" By this point I had had enough. I sent Camryn and Jared to bed for the night at 7:00 pm followed by putting Jackson to bed. At this point, Jackson realized he was hungry. But I was not in the mood to be merciful, having spent 20 minutes trying to get him to eat that only resulted in him throwing food on my newly-mopped floor. So his sobs of, "My milk! My milk!" (as if maybe his milk would show compassion on him, now that his horrible mother wouldn't) fell on deaf ears. Sorry buddy, if you won't eat every time I sit you up, you feed all of your lunch to your sister and you've already had 5 cups of milk today that's what you're going to get.

Such was my day. The mother with the "lovely smile" who "cooks watermelon" that Camryn immortalized in her Mother's Day poem had turned into the wicked, evil stepmother. I guess I'll go buy a broom.

Jackson's Vocab Practice

There is something so cute about a child who is just learning to express themselves (no, I'm not talking about throwing the bowl of Cheerios all over the floor when they don't get what they want). Like tonight, Jackson was having a hard time going to bed, and when he cried he didn't just cry for mom, he cried, "(sniff, sniff, sniff) My mommy! MY mommy!" Awwww. That even goes beyond the cuteness of "Want shoes. Shoes socks. Go car. Yell's house." (Okay, the fact that it's about me instead of going to see my friend doesn't hurt.)

I also like how he refers to Jared and Camryn as a single unit: JareCammin. "JareCammin at school." Lately he is also given to finding things, "School Bus! There it is! I found it!" He also likes to quiz me to make sure I'm keeping up with my numbers and alphabet. When I read him "Seven Silly Monkeys," he always has to interrupt me and ask "What's that?" (pointing at the 7) He won't let me go on until he has completely ascertained that I can tell him the numbers properly.

But probably my favorite thing he says is when he refers to baby Adelyn. He calls her "Bee-bee a-ee cakes" (Baby Addy-cakes). It almost makes up for every night when I get to hear him wail, "No jammies!!!" and every morning when he wails, "Want jammies!! No pants!!!" He may be fickle, but at least he lets you know what he wants.

Trading Spaces-- Reflections from Laurel (my mom)

My mom recently came to watch my kids while Dave and I went out of town for the weekend. During that time she not only found time to keep my four kids happy but also found time to write about it. So here is a guest post from my mom, Laurel:

I am not a blogger.  Blogging is a time sink. I have never felt a compelling need to do an emotional core dump on paper—until yesterday. But yesterday my life was different. I woke up at my daughter, Karen’s house, instead of mine. I woke up to her life instead of mine—to four children instead of my normal, quiet, simple existence. …and I woke up to a new understanding of why Karen blogs. Blogging isn’t just a time sink. Blogging is therapeutic. It is an amazingly effective way of making order out of a world that feels completely out of order and chaotic.

I vaguely remember that having six children of my own, ages ten and under, was chaotic. But the memory is very vague indeed…sort of like the way we forget about the reality of childbirth until labor actually starts the next time. I remember that the house got messed up more easily, that more laundry needed doing, that the noise level was quite a bit higher, that there were more places to go and more food I had to cook.  But, other than those sort of things, having children wasn’t much different than the life to which I have become accustomed in recent years. Wrong.

Day 1 at Karen’s: We get home from the airport just before the two older kids get off the school bus and back home. Chaos doubles. Jared hurries to get ready for cub scouts while Camryn discovers that Jackson has opened the hamster’s cage and allowed Fredricka to escape. Not a big deal. One little hamster against four of us in pursuit. The hunt would be easier were it not for the fact that they have a three story house. 

Karen runs Jared to cubs—Camryn and I are the search party. A half hour later Karen comes back to get Camryn for her dance class. I make up the search party. A little while after that Karen drops Jared back off to join me in the search and goes back to pick up Camryn from dance. The hamster was no where to be found in the music room where he and his cage reside on the main floor…or the living room or family room or kitchen or dining area. We knew this after probing under the stove and through the closets with the end of a broom. Likewise, the hamster was nowhere to be found upstairs in any of the bedrooms. Camryn, however, was sure she was on to something later that evening when she announced, “We have a clue!”  I asked her what the clue was.  She opened the fridge and said, “Hamster pee in the fridge.” I looked, and although the substance at the bottom of the fridge was highly suspicious, I doubted that even a hamster as smart as Fredricka could manage to get in there. So I called Jared in for a second opinion. He opened the fridge and said matter-of-factly, “Yep….definitely hamster pee.” In reality, the fridge clue didn’t aid in finding the missing pet. It turned out that Fredricka had managed to find her way downstairs into a bathroom closet and had happily made a nest in a pile of shredded toilet paper. Jared returned the mini-beast to its cage and life was happy again in Porterville. On a happy note, Karen later determined that the clue in the fridge was actually some spilled canned milk. All is well—I can eat again without feeling queasy.

Jackson, on the other hand, definitely requires more than four people to keep track of. He wanted some juice with his lunch, so Karen poured him a small cup. He was happily occupied eating at the bar while Karen was sitting at the kitchen table busily engaged getting some work done on her computer for Cantico and I was not-quite-so-happily searching for some superior interest rate on homes. Both of us were within 10 feet of Jackson the entire time—so much for my theory that Jackson does what he does because he is running wild downstairs while Karen hibernates upstairs in her office. To make a long story short, Jackson invented a new taste sensation:  ½ half bottle of apple juice, to which you add all your left over mash potatoes and generous handfuls of Chex cereal. Top the concoction off with a steak knife dropped into the murky substance for good measure. My frustration when I glanced up to see the disgusting mess was mitigated by my admiration for the dexterity he was using to add additional Chex mix through the little bottle opening. All of a sudden Karen’s stories of finding the phone in the cereal box or dish cupboard made much more sense.

I have observed even in the few days that I have been here that Karen is not one to be easily defeated or even outsmarted. If keeping track of Jackson is critical to one’s success as a parent and Jackson excels at escaping—especially now that he is so dexterous at climbing out of his crib—there must be a solution.  I was dumbfounded when I went to put Jackson to bed and saw he had a “crib tent”….a very stylish version of what amounts to a “toddler cage.” It is made of heavy-duty white netting and curved supports—kind of like a dome tent—and attaches firmly to the crib. Once the intended creature is “in the cage” you zip it closed (from the outside of course) and said baby is confined until such time as you deem it appropriate to release them. Magical! Crib tents are the boon to bedtime that car seats were to car travel. The amazing thing is that she has Jackson convinced he likes it. I rocked him and read him four stories at bedtime—okay, I read “Are You My Mother” three times until I couldn’t handle it another time and finished off with a different story, said prayers with him and put him down in his crib. I covered him up and he pointed up and said, “Zip it, Zip it!” No problem, Jackson. Your wish is my command! Silence in the house until the next morning when Jackson is perfectly capable of making it clear that he is ready to be let out. I don’t know why the heck I didn’t have such a thing when my kids were little. Maybe I would have had a few more.

Speaking of baby accessories…I was never really into the baby-food thing as a mom. I sort of went from “nursing baby” to “sit-in-the-high-chair-and-stuff-finger-food-in-yourself” stage. However, that isn’t an option here since Addy is a nursing baby whose mom left for four days. Enter in an invention second only to the Crib-tent. Its called a Bumbo and I don’t know exactly how to describe how wonderful it is to someone who has never seen it. It is basically a cleverly molded plastic seat that is miraculously shaped in such a way to support a baby as soon as they are strong enough to hold their head up. No flopping from side to side or slumping over. It sits on the counter or table in front of you and holds the baby in the perfect position and angle to stick little spoonfuls of food in. In fact, if you picture a little baby bird with its beak open ready for dinner you can picture what Addy looks like in the Bumbo. It's quite adorable and almost makes it enjoyable to deal with the whole rice-cereal-mushed-fruit-and-veggie stuff. Combine the Bumbo with the Baby Bjorn, the ExerSaucer, the Jumperoo, the Floor Gym, the Motorized Swing, the Bouncy Seat, The Co-Sleeper, Latch-System Car Seat (which is a huge improvement on my generation of car seats), the single stroller, the double stroller, etc, etc, and I’ve got this kid covered! Ignore the fact that it took hours of training to know who to use them all.

Yesterday morning Camryn woke up to find that the Hamster had gone AWOL yet again. This time Jackson was safely locked in his crib tent so we realized that after eight months the hamster had figured out how to let himself out of his cage when we weren’t looking. A frantic search ensued before school, but to no avail. The children left for school totally distraught with grief. I on the other hand, had a much more pragmatic outlook. One escape constitutes a crisis. A second escape constitutes stupidity on the part of the rodent and elicits very little compassion for the creature from me. The search after school was equally unproductive. By bedtime Jared had come to grips with the fact that his pet hamster might be permanently gone. It seemed to me the situation had only a few very stinky alternatives:  1) The hamster would die somewhere in the house…a stinky alternative, or  2) The hamster would NOT die somewhere in the house, but would continue to run freely around doing what hamsters do best…making yet another very stinky mess all over the house. Neither alternative looked particularly attractive when we headed to bed last night with the hamster still missing in action.

This morning Jared woke up bright and early, went downstairs and looked for the hamster. Apparently the hamster liked the familiarity of the downstairs bathroom closet because during the night he had returned to his previous nesting haunt. This was much happier alternative, but definitely not a stink-free scenario. Now Jared has to come home and not only do a thorough cleaning of the hamster’s cage (way overdue, by the way) but he has a good collection of “hamster souvenirs” to clean up all over the downstairs. All this reminds me that however superior hamsters are to mice, rats, etc, a rodent is still a rodent!

Jared shouldn’t feel too bad. While he is cleaning up after the hamster, Camryn and I can clean up after Jackson. The boy has a fun pastime… he takes every toy he can find and hucks it over the top balcony three floors down to the back lawn. The mystery is that no one seems to see him do it, but the evidence down on the ground is undisputable…the only thing Jackson loves more than Curious George is hucking things!

Well, I will give up this blogging pastime for the time being and get back to the more pertinent realities of life like cooking lunch, changing diapers, putting in laundry, doing dishes, sweeping up the floors…  Gosh…maybe I should change places with Karen permenantly!

Carnival Pictures

So here are the pictures from the school carnival:

 

Addy: "Wow! I've never been to a carnival before!"

Jackson: "Uggghh, I think I overdosed on kettle corn."

Hanging out in the "wild west."

Camryn is one to come prepared, steed and all.

Jared was extraordinarily proud of the root beer he won in the ring toss. He made sure I understood in no uncertain terms that Dave and I were not allowed to drink any of it while we had our late-night TV parties after the kids are in bed. Dangit.

Plum tuckered out. Eating massive amounts of kettle corn can do that to you.

But Camryn is still going strong- the night is young!

What better way to finish the night than by getting your face painted?

Jared getting his face painted- with Harry Potter's lightning-shaped scar, of course!